Along for the Ride

I'm not sure why I find this humorous, but I think it's sort of funny that I have my own little "routine" at the hospital now. I know most of the nurses, and they know me. They stop by to watch TV with me or chat. I know about poor Annette, who used to come draw my blood every morning at 4 am until I got the central line - so now blood has to be drawn by my nurse. Annette is helping to raise her 2 year-old grandbaby, and her 23 year-old daughter just found a lump in her breast, but she doesn't have health insurance because she's too old to be on her mom's (the Obama law hasn't kicked in yet), and she isn't in school anymore. My heart breaks for her. Sonia, the night nurse, has a son with asthma and severe allergies, and it kills her to have to give him shots, but that's why she became a nurse. It's been interesting.... I'm actually meeting lots of new people. I usually have Zen-ish music playing in the evenings, or white noise, ...

I haven't blogged in a while, so it's definitely time to catch up. I just reread my last post, and I can tell that I was NOT in a good place then. I struggled to finish the school year, but with the help of my amazing friends and colleagues, I made it to the finish line. Unfortunately, just a few days after the last day of school, I crashed and burned. The Friday of the last week of school, June 10, I had what I call my "loopy day". Before then, I had had a few little episodes where I would be standing in the kitchen about to give myself insulin or take meds, and I would freeze. It's hard to describe, but it felt like I couldn't separate what was real from fantasy. I couldn't get my body to move. I would feel "stuck". I could usually get myself walking, and it would clear up, but driving was difficult, and I couldn't concentrate or focus on anything. On Friday morning, I got up and got ready for inservice for SIGS, but I was froze...