Along for the Ride

Since all this transplant business has started, I've had several people ask me how I'm feeling about everything.  I figured this week was a good week to tackle that topic. The short answer is... overwhelmed. Earlier this week, Mike was out bowling with his buddies, and I was home alone. I knew my mind was reeling, so I decided to distract myself with a chick flick on Netflix, but as soon as the ending credits began to roll, my mind quickly returned to its looping cycles of anxious thoughts.  So I called my mom. That's what every grown woman does during times of stress, right? Anyway, I cried. For the first time, I let it all out. My fears, my anxieties, and my emotions. So you might be wondering... But why are you crying? Aren't you happy?  You're getting close to getting a transplant! OF COURSE I am! I'm ecstatic!!! But there's also fear. I fear letting people down. I fear getting some terrible news or results from some test. I fear complications du...

Life has been positively nutty lately.  I'm finally getting around to writing an update from the last couple of weeks.  I don't love waiting this long because my memory just isn't what it used to be.  Let's see if I can get everything in here... Last Wednesday, my mom and I had another full day of testing and appointments at UTSW.  This was the last set of big tests for transplant testing.  I started the day with a nuclear stress test.  Originally, they told me that - because most dialysis patients don't feel well enough to do the treadmill stress test - I'd be doing the kind where they give you medication that causes your heart rate to increase artificially.  I thought this would be strange because I'd be sitting still, and my heart would be beating fast, as though I was doing heavy cardio. When they called the day before to give me pre-op instructions, they asked if I was able to walk on the treadmill, I told them I was, and they decided to switc...