Along for the Ride

Greetings! Well, today was my first "big day" of appointments down at UTSW, so I thought I'd write up a bit of an update and overview.  The kidney transplant gears are definitely in motion!  Previously, right after my appointment with the transplant nephrologist, the transplant testing team was able to squeeze me in for an EKG, a visit with the social worker, chest X-ray, and lab work (19 vials!).  However, that was just the tip of the iceberg! Today started with a visit to the urologist.  When I was diagnosed with Wegener's back in 2011, I was placed on high doses of prednisone and Cytoxan.  Well, Cytoxan use has been shown to lead to an increased chance of developing bladder cancer.  That, combined with my personal history of urinary tract infections, alerted the transplant team, and my doctor wanted me to see the urinary specialist.  Today's visit was pretty quick, and the urologist basically confirmed that he would like me to get some scans...

I've been pondering how to write this post for a few days.  I learned long ago that - when I'm confronted with difficulty - I tend to focus on logistics and organization as a way to calm myself and deal with my emotions. Well, today I decided to dig in and talk about the elephant in the room: how I'm feeling.  Since my last post was primarily the "nuts and bolts" of the transplant, I thought I should now devote a little time to the circus that has been playing in my head in recent weeks. Right after I got the call about applying for transplant, I found myself oscillating between ecstasy and fear.  Of course I was excited to reach this next stage in my journey.  After all, I've been working for years to be a candidate for transplant. But I also felt trepidation.  See, I've been doing pretty well over these last few years.  Sure, dialysis is a total pain, but we humans are resilient beings.  We can adjust to anything.  I also recently saw an a...