Along for the Ride

This post is long overdue, but I finally found the words the other morning around 4 am. The medications make sleeping difficult at times, and I've been having a lot of issues with leg and muscle cramping at night. So lately, sleep has been a bit of an acrobatic event, with hourly shifting, leg movement, kicking, and walks around the bedroom to stretch my cramping arches, feet, calves, shins, thighs, and hands. Yesterday morning around 4 am, I woke up feeling really nauseous, light-headed, and in a lot of pain from my increased chemo meds. I curled up in the fetal position to try to stretch some muscles, and I had this incredible heavy feeling come over me. I felt so alone. In the last few months, I have been anything BUT alone in this ordeal. I have so many loving friends and family members to support and care for me, but at that time - that lonely hour in the morning - laying there in pain - I was alone. I'm learning that chronic illness is a complex beast. It affec...

We all remember those days of health class when we were taught about the effects of drugs on your body. Now, if you knew me in high school, you'd know that no matter how tough I tried to be at various developmental stages of my psyche, I was a good kid. Despite my near-arrest in 10th grade for having a billy club hidden in my truck (another thank you to our assistant principal for allowing me to call my dad before they slapped on the cuffs for that misunderstanding), or my three car accidents (aka: 1 wreck and 2 minor mishaps), I stayed out of trouble and away from drugs. Now, I'm afraid I can say that I know what our health teacher meant by the term "roid" raging. And while prednisone is no where near the same as shooting up before hitting the gym, I'm starting to see what those health books were talking about. So let's just have a moment of truth... First of all, body image is a complicated thing. When you tell someone who has struggled with weight...