I'm a Loser, Baby!
At work we've just started a Biggest Loser competition for the spring semester. So far, I'm down 2 pounds, and I'm hoping that this will give me an "umph" to get started on dropping some weight for transplant. I think it's somewhat humorous that the winner in this case is actually a loser, but that's another topic.
I am on the committee for the competition this year. I signed up to help in hopes that it would help me stay focused on my goals. I have struggled with weight my whole life, and while the motivation this time is much different - I need a new organ, not just to look cute in a bikini - the challenge is still the same. The first 40 pounds came off pretty easily because I felt awful and had no appetite. Now that I'm on dialysis, there are some added challenges:
1. I feel a lot better! Yay!!! However, that also means that my appetite is better. Boo. So foods that repulsed me before now sound pretty good.
2. I get calories from dialysis. My renal dietician estimates that I get between 210 and 360 calories each night from the dialysis. Since it's dextrose that goes straight into my bloodstream, I don't feel full from those, so they are truly "empty" calories. Stink!
3. To lose weight, I need to stick to a limit of 1500 calories a day. Subtract 360 for the dialysis (figuring on the high side), and that's about 1100 calories a day to lose 1-2 pounds a week. I need to reduce the calories even more if I want to lose more weight faster, or exercise to increase the calorie defecit. I don't know if you've ever tried to stick to 1100 calories a day, but IT'S NOT MUCH. I'm amazed at how fast those calories fly away.
4. The renal diet is tricky. I've been trying to adopt a really high-protein, low-carb meal plan. Dialysis causes some protein loss, so I have to compensate for that in my diet. Add in restrictions on phosphorus, whole grains, potassium, and sodium, as well as low-calorie, low-carb, and low-fat, and I feel like I should be eating some sort of space food like the Jetsons.
5. My energy level is still not 100%. I do feel immensely better after dialysis, and my nurse tells me that my energy level will continue to improve. However, in the afternoons, I'm still dragging by the time I get home, which makes it really difficult to get the energy to workout. The weekends are so much better, but weekday evenings are tricky. I'm also still a little nervous about leaving the house in the evenings, afraid that I won't be back early enough to start therapy in time to finish before work. I'm still working on getting used to my evening schedule.
Thankfully, I've been able to make some changes that are helping with things:
1. Mike and I have been working with a trainer at our gym. She had leukemia as a teenager, so she understands what I've been through. We meet with her every Saturday morning, and she's been so great at helping me regain confidence physically.
2. One of my sweet friends got me an AWESOME pedometer. I've been using that during the day at work trying to reach 10000 steps a day. My trainer said that 7000 would be great. So far, I've worked my way up to 5000, so I'm trying to get to that goal of 10000!
3. Mike and I have fallen in love with Muscle Milk Light shakes in Vanilla Creme. Breakfast is the biggest challenge for us. I love, love, love McDonalds' breakfast, and we're usually rushed in the morning. Having those shakes (which have a whopping 20 grams of protein for only 140 calories!) in hand really helps us start the day off right. For lunch, I usually have a Protein Plus bar (recommended by my renal dietician because it's low phosphorus and has 20 grams of protein) and an apple. YUM! That helps me get through the day with only 420 calories, allowing me to have about 600 for after school snack and dinner.
4. I've given up soda. While I may have a diet root beer or diet Sprite occasionally, I usually prefer iced tea or ice water. I've gotten to where I LOVE ice, and I have even given up a lot of artifical sweeteners, drinking my iced tea unsweet. This is such a change for me! What I've noticed, though, is that now that I've given up a lot of sweet things, I don't find myself craving them much any more. Apples and fruit - with their natural sweetness - are all I can really handle anymore.
5. Getting more sleep. Because of the dialysis schedule, I have to "retire" to the bedroom (I feel like a Southern belle when I say that) around 8:15-8:30 pm. While I usually watch tv or read until about 9:30 or 10, being settled down for the night that early has really helped. I've been sleeping so much better and waking up so much more rested.
There are a few things that I would like to improve on, though:
1. I need to set up a weekly schedule for myself. I get home from work around 5:30-6. Then I set up my dialysis machine and change clothes, which takes until about 6:15. After that, we fix and eat dinner, usually around 6:45. From 6:45 until 8, I "decompress" and spend time with Mike and the puppies. Around 8 or 8:30, I put the dogs to bed, take my shower, and get hooked up to my dialysis machine. Somewhere in there, I need to get in some exercise. Honestly, I'm starting to think that the evenings are just too hard. I'm usually too tired, and I'm always nervous about getting distracted and letting time slip by me. If I don't start dialysis early enough, I won't finish in time to get to work on time. So perhaps I need to revisit exercise in the mornings. If I start dialysis at 9 pm, I finish up at about 6 am. I usually get up around 6:30 am. If I go ahead and get up at 6, I would have time to do a quick 20-30 minute workout or a quick walk with the dogs. That would actually help solve 3 problems: 1) I feel guilty about not spending enough time with the dogs in the evenings because they can't be in the treatment area. Walking with them in the morning would allow me to spend time with them. 2) I am usually more "up" in the morning, so if I'm tired after school, I don't have to feel guilty about coming home and plopping down on the couch to decompress from the day. 3) Since I will have just finished my dialysis, I won't have to worry about the stress of timing. I just have to make sure I have enough time to get ready for work. Good plan! I will start this next week!
2. I need to grocery shop and cook on the weekends so meals are prepared. I used to be really good about this, and thankfully, with all of the generous help from my school community, I've had help with meals lately. However, when that ends, I need to make sure that healthy options are already "ready to go" in the fridge to cut down on prep time.
3. I need to take time to smell the roses. After all that we've been through, I need to remember what is really important and make sure to spend time enjoying those things. Whether that's a quiet dinner at home with Mike or enjoying a beautiful sunset, I need to make sure I'm savoring every moment.
I am on the committee for the competition this year. I signed up to help in hopes that it would help me stay focused on my goals. I have struggled with weight my whole life, and while the motivation this time is much different - I need a new organ, not just to look cute in a bikini - the challenge is still the same. The first 40 pounds came off pretty easily because I felt awful and had no appetite. Now that I'm on dialysis, there are some added challenges:
1. I feel a lot better! Yay!!! However, that also means that my appetite is better. Boo. So foods that repulsed me before now sound pretty good.
2. I get calories from dialysis. My renal dietician estimates that I get between 210 and 360 calories each night from the dialysis. Since it's dextrose that goes straight into my bloodstream, I don't feel full from those, so they are truly "empty" calories. Stink!
3. To lose weight, I need to stick to a limit of 1500 calories a day. Subtract 360 for the dialysis (figuring on the high side), and that's about 1100 calories a day to lose 1-2 pounds a week. I need to reduce the calories even more if I want to lose more weight faster, or exercise to increase the calorie defecit. I don't know if you've ever tried to stick to 1100 calories a day, but IT'S NOT MUCH. I'm amazed at how fast those calories fly away.
4. The renal diet is tricky. I've been trying to adopt a really high-protein, low-carb meal plan. Dialysis causes some protein loss, so I have to compensate for that in my diet. Add in restrictions on phosphorus, whole grains, potassium, and sodium, as well as low-calorie, low-carb, and low-fat, and I feel like I should be eating some sort of space food like the Jetsons.
5. My energy level is still not 100%. I do feel immensely better after dialysis, and my nurse tells me that my energy level will continue to improve. However, in the afternoons, I'm still dragging by the time I get home, which makes it really difficult to get the energy to workout. The weekends are so much better, but weekday evenings are tricky. I'm also still a little nervous about leaving the house in the evenings, afraid that I won't be back early enough to start therapy in time to finish before work. I'm still working on getting used to my evening schedule.
Thankfully, I've been able to make some changes that are helping with things:
1. Mike and I have been working with a trainer at our gym. She had leukemia as a teenager, so she understands what I've been through. We meet with her every Saturday morning, and she's been so great at helping me regain confidence physically.
2. One of my sweet friends got me an AWESOME pedometer. I've been using that during the day at work trying to reach 10000 steps a day. My trainer said that 7000 would be great. So far, I've worked my way up to 5000, so I'm trying to get to that goal of 10000!
3. Mike and I have fallen in love with Muscle Milk Light shakes in Vanilla Creme. Breakfast is the biggest challenge for us. I love, love, love McDonalds' breakfast, and we're usually rushed in the morning. Having those shakes (which have a whopping 20 grams of protein for only 140 calories!) in hand really helps us start the day off right. For lunch, I usually have a Protein Plus bar (recommended by my renal dietician because it's low phosphorus and has 20 grams of protein) and an apple. YUM! That helps me get through the day with only 420 calories, allowing me to have about 600 for after school snack and dinner.
4. I've given up soda. While I may have a diet root beer or diet Sprite occasionally, I usually prefer iced tea or ice water. I've gotten to where I LOVE ice, and I have even given up a lot of artifical sweeteners, drinking my iced tea unsweet. This is such a change for me! What I've noticed, though, is that now that I've given up a lot of sweet things, I don't find myself craving them much any more. Apples and fruit - with their natural sweetness - are all I can really handle anymore.
5. Getting more sleep. Because of the dialysis schedule, I have to "retire" to the bedroom (I feel like a Southern belle when I say that) around 8:15-8:30 pm. While I usually watch tv or read until about 9:30 or 10, being settled down for the night that early has really helped. I've been sleeping so much better and waking up so much more rested.
There are a few things that I would like to improve on, though:
1. I need to set up a weekly schedule for myself. I get home from work around 5:30-6. Then I set up my dialysis machine and change clothes, which takes until about 6:15. After that, we fix and eat dinner, usually around 6:45. From 6:45 until 8, I "decompress" and spend time with Mike and the puppies. Around 8 or 8:30, I put the dogs to bed, take my shower, and get hooked up to my dialysis machine. Somewhere in there, I need to get in some exercise. Honestly, I'm starting to think that the evenings are just too hard. I'm usually too tired, and I'm always nervous about getting distracted and letting time slip by me. If I don't start dialysis early enough, I won't finish in time to get to work on time. So perhaps I need to revisit exercise in the mornings. If I start dialysis at 9 pm, I finish up at about 6 am. I usually get up around 6:30 am. If I go ahead and get up at 6, I would have time to do a quick 20-30 minute workout or a quick walk with the dogs. That would actually help solve 3 problems: 1) I feel guilty about not spending enough time with the dogs in the evenings because they can't be in the treatment area. Walking with them in the morning would allow me to spend time with them. 2) I am usually more "up" in the morning, so if I'm tired after school, I don't have to feel guilty about coming home and plopping down on the couch to decompress from the day. 3) Since I will have just finished my dialysis, I won't have to worry about the stress of timing. I just have to make sure I have enough time to get ready for work. Good plan! I will start this next week!
2. I need to grocery shop and cook on the weekends so meals are prepared. I used to be really good about this, and thankfully, with all of the generous help from my school community, I've had help with meals lately. However, when that ends, I need to make sure that healthy options are already "ready to go" in the fridge to cut down on prep time.
3. I need to take time to smell the roses. After all that we've been through, I need to remember what is really important and make sure to spend time enjoying those things. Whether that's a quiet dinner at home with Mike or enjoying a beautiful sunset, I need to make sure I'm savoring every moment.
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